I have had dreams most of my life about a past life in WWII Germany. I have been able to connect these dreams and flashbacks so that I now have a clear picture of many events from this past life.

My name was Katharina, or Katie. I lived in the city of Stuttgart, and I think I was born 1925 or 1926. When I was very young we lived in some houses near the central district of Stuttgart, we rented them. When I was about 10 years old, my father made enough money that we could afford to move into a new apartment building, also near to the central district. There were many apartment buildings in this area of the city.

In this photo, I think that I am the girl handing programs to a soldier. From my dreams and flashbacks, I know that I looked exactly like this girl, so if she is not me, she looks exactly like me!





Home

I do have memories of the early life of Katie, growing up in Stutttgart. My family lived in a house that we rented near Stuttgart-mitte. It was a large house in an older section of the city, I think there were three stories. It had been sub-divided into at least three dwelling units. I remember that we had to walk up a narrow stair case that wound around several times ( interior ) up to the 2nd or 3rd floor. The inside of the apartment was spacious, a big dining room with a large table, hardwood floors. The kitchen was small and added on. There was a modest sized living room, with large windows that faced the main street. A door from the living room led to a balcony-like porch. On a hot day we could sit outside on the porch, and look at the street below. It was a great place to pick up the latest gossip from the neighborhood, especially the elderly folk who tended to talk too loud. There was an alley to the side of the building, and this was not the safest place to go. Sometimes very rough kids would play there, and there had been some fights, so it was best to avoid the alley if at all possible.

I remember that my father would read to me as he sat on his cushioned chair. I would sit on his lap and listen to his soft, soothing voice, captivated by the book.

I must have been very young when we lived in that house. I think that we lived there until I was about 9 or so. That is when we moved into a new apartment complex, also in Stuttgart-mitte. This was considered upward mobility, because the new building had all the modern amenities, toilets, electricity, piped water. But I think that I could never forget the old house and the good times there.


School

I attended schools in Stuttgart-mitte, not far from my residence. I was living in the rental house when I went to die Grundschule, the primary school. Sometimes Grandfather would come to pick me up. I recall that he would meet me in the front of the school, and he often walked the dog when he came to get me. I met Grandfather at the school gate, an archway made of red brick. The iron gates were wide open, and all along the front of the school there was a wrought iron fence meshed between masonry emplacements. From the central gate a brick walkway led to the stairs and front porch. Here the school's double-swinging doors were set within an imposing arch. On both sides of the walk were tall trees on the beautifully manicured front lawn. There was almost always shade there. When I saw Grandfather, I would get excited and run to meet him, and he would give me a big hug and walk me home.

When I was older the school that I attended was much larger. It was also an old building with high arched windows. I remember that I was in a class up on the second floor. The classroom had wood floors and desks. A long teacher's desk was up front. I think that it was an all girls school.

One morning I arrived at school a little early, and I walked into the classroom, and three of my class mates ( all girls ) were standing near the windows. We were all dressed in school uniform, black or grey skirts and white shirts. They were laughing and jokng, then one of the girls pointed out the window at another student walking towards the building. She opened the window and started yelling something at the other student. I was shocked when she did this, because I knew that if our teacher caught us doing this we would all be in big trouble. ( no we did not have "time outs" or detention, it would be strict corporal punishment ) I yelled at her to close the window, which she promptly did, but she seemed to relish the moment that she had made me so nervous.

I have read that these schools were destroyed by bombs in WW II. The buildings were so heavily damaged that they had to be torn down.


Grandfather's Store

I have also had many dreams and flashbacks to my Grandfather's store near marktplatz. ( Stuttgart ) It was a very old building, and I remember the storage areas on the upper floors the best. There were many rooms up there packed full of old junk, signs, display tables, glass wares, manniquins, boxes of unopened merchandise. It was clutter, and I don't know how my Grandfather could make any sense of it, but he must have had some logic to it ( I hope! ) I remember going up there with Grandfather to get something, and he would go through room after room looking, moving stuff around, finally locating the item of which he was searching.

Sometimes I would go with my mother to my Grandfather’s store in Stuttgart-mitte on her shopping day. She would often visit with grandfather for several hours, and I would wander off by myself and explore the rooms above the store.

I can remember climbing up many flights of wooden stairs to the top floor of the old building. Once at the very top floor, I would explore the dimly lit areas and pretend that I was in an ancient castle. The walls were made of brick, and the cement was very rough between the joints. There were about three separate long and narrow rooms up there, all with wide open access from one room to the next. [room]room]room] The sides of the inner walls were vaulted , arching upwards towards the ceiling. There was only a few windows that were in the center rooms, and I could look down on the street below from here and watch the crowds of shoppers going about their business.

I would stay up here for as long as I could, trying to hide from my mother and grandfather, and make them search for me. I would sit on the floor, resting my back on the cool brick wall, and I felt like a queen in her castle, my own little hiding place.

There was a lot of old junk up there, old desks, crates, things that appeared to have been abandoned years ago.The building was ancient looking, as though it had been built hundreds of years ago. 

It was kind of dark up there with only a few windows. There also was a basement in this old building, but I was too scared to go down there by myself.

I would have stayed up there for hours, had my mother not come searching for me. She'd call my name out as I heard her climbing the stairs. I would not answer right away, as it became a game at this point to see if she could find me. Once she did, she would scold me mildly, and say that she did not understand why I wanted to go and spend so much time up there. But I think that she finally realized how much I enjoyed exploring all the oft' neglected spaces in this majestic old building.

Grandfather's store was a very successful business located on a busy street in Stuttgart-mitte. There were many other shops and cafe's in this vibrant area of the city. It was a good sized store, if not a bit over crowded with merchandise - clothes, shoes, dishes, hardware, seemingly an endless list of items.

Most of the time freight deliveries were made to the store in trucks. There were several rooms of storage up on the 2nd floor. The freight was raised up via a conveyor belt. The conveyor looped around the storage area so the freight could be pulled off at specific locations.

Sometimes I went with Grandfather to the freight yards to check on the deliveries. He had on his wire rimmed glasses, gray trousers with suspenders, white shirt with his well rounded belly jutting out. His hair was thinning and gray.

I remember watching him pace back and forth on the platform, waiting impatiently for the train to arrive. It was a long concrete platform, on one side was the tracks, on the other, an immense warehouse made of red brick. The longer we had to wait for the train to arrive, the more Grandfather paced back and forth on the platform, wiping the perspiration from his brow with a handkerchief.

I am not sure why he went to the freight yards to check on the deliveries. He seemed obsessed with it, like he wanted to know right away what had come in and what had not. Once the train arrived, he would watch the freight as it was unloaded from the train cars, then go inside the warehouse and check the order. He'd look at every box and crate, completing a check-off list. If there was something that he was expecting that was not there, he'd frown. Then he would talk with some other men on the dock, inquiring about the missing items. The men would assure Grandfather that the missing freight would come on the next shipment. It was very important to Grandfather that shipments arrive on time, when they did not, he was not a very happy camper. Keeping a store well stocked was not an easy task in changing times. but he managed to do just that most of the time.

Memories of Stuttgart

I have been trying to put together my memories of Stuttgart, I have dreamed about the city often, I did not know the place of my dreams until about two years ago, when I began a search of cities in Germany. I knew that the places in my dreams were somewhere in Germany, because in some dreams I saw a bombed out city. What really gave me the best clues to the location of this city were dreams where I saw buildings. I had a dream about a grandious palace, and the Neus Schloss ( New Castle ) in Stuttgart matched the building that I saw in my dream exactly. In one of my flashbacks, I saw another palace, one I've never seen before, and after doing an internet search, I found that this palace is near Stuttgart, Schloss Solitude.

There are some places in Stuttgart that I feel that I remember clear enough to describe: Schlossgarten, Hauptbahnhof, and my Grandfather's store near Marktplatz.

When I was very young, my mother took us ( my sister I ) to Der Stuttgarter Schlossgarten, a large city park. I remember the park as a place with lots of green grassy areas, intermixed with stands of trees. We had our favorite spot where we always went in the park. I remember that we were near stands of trees in the corner of a grassy open area. There were trees behind us and another stand of trees to the side, and beyond these woods was a lake, which you could easily see through the trees. Mother spread a blanket on the ground and we had our picnic, she had all kinds of food goodies in her basket. Then my sister and I played games like hide n' seek and tag. I loved these outings and looked forward to them all summer.


I remember that the train station was a huge building with a very high ceiling. They don't make public building like this anymore, unfortunately. It was more like a palace inside, with polished granite and brass everywhere.

Some of my other memories of Stuttgart from the 1930's & 1940's are of the street cars. Stuttgart was a very modern city for its time, and the transportation infrastructure was top caliber. Everyone living in Stuttgart in this time rode on the streetcars, the early version of these ran on tracks set in the street with overhead electrical wire to provide power.

I loved to ride the streetcars. Mother would take us shopping on the cars to Der Stuttgarter Marktplatz ( Stuttgart marketplace ) and this was always an exciting adventure. We also rode the cars to Der Stuttgarter Schlossgarten ( a large city park ) where we had picnics and played.

When I was older, I rode the streetcars by myself. I also remember riding a bicycle all over town, and into the woods on a trail. But usually around the city, I preferred the streetcars. I depended on the streetcar service to get me where I needed to go promptly.

My Father's Farm

My father grew up on a farm not far from Worms, Rhineland-Palatinate. The closest village to the farm was Weinsheim, a very quaint village with a high-pitched church steeple towering over the town, visible for miles around.

He went to Stuttgart to work in the auto factories there. My father was always mechanically minded, always tinkering with motors on the farm. He knew how to tear down an engine and reassemble it in perfect working condition, and it would even run better than before!

My father and mother met in Stuttgart, probably around 1923 or 1924. My mother's family had lived in Stuttgart for many years. They fell in love and married soon after they had met. We lived in the rental house when I was born in 1926, and two years later, my sister was born.

One of the most exciting times for me was when we went to visit the farm. Father wanted to go whenever we had the opportunity. In the summer father would get some time off from work, so we could spend a week at the farm.

We got there by train. I loved to travel on trains, everything about the experience was delightful. We would leave as soon as father got off work, and ride the street trolley to the train station. As we walked along the front of the station I would peer into the windows so I could see the people inside, all like us, travelers on their way to adventure. People sitting on benches chatting, others walking with luggage, babies in strollers, venders selling hot food.

Once inside the station, we went to the ticket agent and purchased our tickets. Then we went down to the opposite end of the terminal to some wide stairs that went up to a 2nd level. There was a restaurant here where we ordered food, sausages, beef steaks, sandwiches. We could relax and enjoy our meal, because we always arrived early.

When we heard our train departure announced, we would make haste to the loading platforms. We usually would get on a center car or one towards the front. It was ( as I remember in my dreams ) a passenger car made of steel. The upholstered seats within all faced the same direction, with plenty of leg room even for adults.

The train would start off with a jerk, lurching forward, moving slowly out of the station. I would look out the window and see the familiar sights of the city go by as the train began to pick up speed. Soon we were traveling through open countryside interspersed with forest. The train made several stops in towns along the route, but we made good time and we'd arrive at the small station near Weinsheim by early evening. We would disembark and wait on the platform for Grandfather ( paternal Grandfather ) to arrive in a horse drawn wagon. This mode of travel seem so old fashioned to me compared to the train, but it was fun to ride in a hay wagon after all.

I could not wait to get to the farm, to see Grandmother and to wake up to the smell of sausages and biscuits in a hot oven, and drink fresh cow's milk. There were always some kittens in some cranny under the house, a frisky yapping dog that ran in the fields, a new born horse in the barn yard. I loved the sweet smells in the country air, the sweet scent of nectar from the wild flowers was on the morning breeze.

I loved the city life, but to be here in the country on the farm where my father grew up was delightful.

I had several dreams about playing in the long barn, being in there around all the itchy straw. The animals were outside when I went in there, It was rather dark inside, and you could see light filtering between the cracks in the walls. I liked to sit in a pile of straw, once I had collected some wire and twine. I could twist the wire and twine into animal shapes and people, and engage my imagination on the characters I created. This may have led to my interest in puppetry when I got older.

In another area of the farm complex there was a long storage shed that was open in the front. It was used to store wood that was cut on the farm. I remember from my dream that I was standing by this building, and there were many tall wood piles in front of the structure. A little boy came around the wood pile, and he seemed glad to see me. He was a big talker, and he wanted to know everything about me and what life was like in the city. I enjoyed his company at first, but his incessant questions began to become annoying. Anyway, I really liked his curious nature,and to see his eyes light up when I told him about city life.

I remember from another dream that we ( my family ) were walking down the gravel lane towards the farm house. I remember the tall trees along the road, and as we neared my grandparents house on the left side, the pastures were within view just beyond a line of stately trees.

Not far from the house was a smaller barn. I think that there was some farm machinery in there. Many tools and old hay wagons and some motors that my father had torn down. It was a big mess in there, but I liked to go and explore and sift through the old rusty stuff and wonder what it was.

I recall that my grandparents house was painted yellow, and there were shutters over the windows, and a long porch on front. There was a very high pitched roof, which was covered in squares of slate. It was a nice house inside, a large kitchen and main room downstairs, and the bedrooms on the upper story. Grandmother was always busy in the kitchen, and my sister and I would help her prepare meals and delightful deserts like strudel or filled pies. It was fun and an opportunity to learn how to cook from a real pro!

Bodensee

When I was young my family often visited Bodensee (Lake Constance ), a beautiful lake south of Stuttgart. We went there often for vacation. Oh, how I loved Bodensee! Nestled in die Alpen highlands, an enchanted place surrounded by forests, ancient castles, and wild flowers. Here be the old world German villages of Meersburg and Uberlingen, where the flavor of Süddeutschland can be experienced to its fullest. Fine food, beverage, street entertainment, an old world charm that takes one back in time.

This beautiful lake was a familiar place, where I could find a sense of unity with nature. I remember the glistening water, sometimes still as a mirror, other times rippled by a strong breeze.I knew well these distant shores with verdant hills and peaks reaching up towards the hazy sky in the background.

As a young girl I ran barefoot across the soft grass, stopping to pick the lovely flowers that grew along the walkways by the shore. I would place one or two flowers in my hair. I did that all the time, I liked flowers in my hair. This would make me feel like a goddess, or even a princess, adorned with nature's glory.

This lake has a spirit of its own; and one becomes entranced by it, absorbed by its tranquility. Bodensee remains in my dreams to this day. Someday I will return to its shores.

The Wedding

When I was around nine year old, my mother’s sister was married. It was a very large wedding which took place in a large hall near the Nekar River. It was a huge building with two spiral staircases and immense windows soaring above. In my dream the building was so large, I think it was a castle, with many grandiose rooms.

After the wedding, I went down by the river to play with all of the other children. ( The adults all stayed inside to celebrate and drink all the wine ) Here there was a grassy area surrounded by tall trees that extended right up to the river’s edge. I remember running and playing tag with the other children, and my cousin, a boy about two years older, would like to chase me and sometimes he would catch me and pin me to the ground.

When it became dark, all the children would go back up to the courtyard and rejoin the wedding party. There was a good diner and wine, dancng and music. The celebration went on long into the night.


Fun and Adventure

Hugo Hasse of Leipzig Germany was an inventor of amusement park rides. He was the first to apply electric power to rides like the carousel and roller coasters. He also invented the water chutes ride, or as it is known today, the Shoot-the-Chutes ride. This chutes ride was introduced in Berlin, Munich, Hannover, and Cologne. The rides were sold to parks worldwide.

One of my dreams was about riding on one of these water chutes rides, somewhere in Germany, perhaps at one of the expositions or Cannstatter Volksfest.

The ride was multi level, and water rushed through a shallow, narrow channel. Little bob sled shaped boats floated within the channel, carrying two passengers around a curving, downward course towards the falls at the end of the ride.

I was excited but a little scared to go on this new ride. When it was our turn, my sister and I got into a boat. I sat in the front and she got into the back. The little bob boat immediately lunged forward, pushed by the strong water current that was streaming along the channel.

First we went straight for a ways, then there was a sharp bend to the left. Then there was another sharp bend to the right, followed by a long straight section where the boat slowed down to a crawl.

If your boat slowed down too much, you could get caught in the next bend. That's exactly what happened to us. Our boat became stuck at the next turn!

Then the boat behind us came barreling along, and we screamed as loudly as the girls behind us as they crashed into the back of our boat. They pushed us forward and back into the water current. We were now moving again, but with the other girls right on our tail!

Now we were heading for the fastest part of the water ride. We picked up speed rapidly, getting rammed the entire way by the boat behind us. The rapids were straight ahead, a sudden drop off that was the final plunge of terror for the ride. We held onto the sides as we sprang over the edge, and raced down the rapids at a frightening speed. My sister and I screamed hysterically, and the girls in the boat behind us also were screaming as we hydroplaned into the water of the receiving pool below. Their boat hit us again, thankfully pushing us in the right direction.


1935 Stuttgart

The best way to cool off on a hot muggy day in the city of Stuttgart was to go swimming in one of the public pools, or go to a lake or the river. Grandfather would take my sister and I to the river to swim. He had a favorite spot where he would take us. I am sure that it was the river because the waterway was not too wide, probably the dredged channel of the nearby Neckar River.

My sister and I were decked out in our new swimming suits, a one piece that by today's standards would be considered modest, but for that time somewhat revealing.

Swimsuit like I wore in 1935


The place on the river where Grandfather took us had a long wooden dock that jutted out into the water. On the bank on the other side you could see lots of big shady trees, and above the tree line you could see the buildings of the city. I think that there was a bridge off to one side. It was a concrete bridge with at least three arches that spanned across the river.

Grandfather would take us to the end of the dock, then he sit on the edge, and slide into the water, hardly making a ripple. He would swim for awhile, then he'd stand up in the water, it was not much more than four feet deep there. Now he would invite us to go in. Seeing that we were hesitant, he'd tell us that the water was nice and cool. I would jump in with my inflated inner tube, followed by my sister. ( she also had an inner tube ) We would swim around Grandfather, laughing and splashing, sharing in the delight of the refreshing water.

After the swim, I would go back onto the dock and rest. I would rest my chin on my upraised knees, and watch boats on the river, or some inquisitive ducks. A warm breeze might blow from upstream and ripple the water just enough to make it sparkle in the afternoon sunlight. This was such a pleasant memory from my childhood.

My mother also would take us swimming at an indoor swimming pool during sweltering hot days. The pool was within a large neo-classical type building in the city. The expansive entry area had a very high ceiling. We would walk across the entry through a wide open door, which opened to another large room that had a very deep pool with diving boards at one end. The shallow end of the pool was where I usually played, but sometimes I like to explore the deep end. The water was so warm and relaxing. This pool may have been one of the area's many thermes. Even today the therapeutic waters of the thermes attract visitors from all over the world.


My Experiences in Jungmadelbund

I was ten years old when I joined the Jungmadelbund, the branch of the Hitler Youth for girls. I registered along with other girls from my grundschule that were my age. We had to go to an administration building in Stuttgart-mitte to register and to receive our membership cards and our service manuals. I was so excited on this day, I could not wait to meet the girls in my newly formed group.

My mother helped me to purchase the skirt and neckerchief that was required. I had many white blouses that I wore with my school uniform, so I was able to wear these with my JM uniform.

I knew many of the girls in my JM group, some of them attended my grundschule. We were a close knit group. We attended meetings at a 3 story modern looking buidling in Stuttgart-mitte. Here we were instructed in the Nazi doctrines and the life of Adolf Hitler. This did not last the entire time, usually after about the first hour we would discuss our plans for trips or fitness activities. We also sang songs towards the end of the meetings and socialized.

My group used the Schlossgarten park for our sports afternoon. We would line up in order and stand at attention for roll call and listen to our leader's instructions for our goals. She would start from left to right, calling each of our names, and she often would make some observation about our appearance, or about our current standing and achievements.

Service in Bund Deutscher Madel (BDM) was compulsory for girls under the Nazi regime. This consisted of early training and indoctrination for girls at the impressionable age of 10 to 14 in JM. At age 14, girls transferred on to the BDM.

Many of my views were formed at this time. I followed the demands of the training and achieved what was expected, yet somehow I was able to maintain an independent spirit with my sense of humor and desire to contribute to the more imaginative arts that were possible in such a rigid organization, like role play, crafts, and eventually puppetry. I always felt that I was doing my patriotic duty in JM and BDM, we all had a sense of pride in our Fatherland and a desire to work towards the goals of the state.

At age 12, I did experienced a great feeling of nationalistic pride. After all, we were once again a prosperous nation, and the future looked bright. Yes, I was indoctrinated, and accepted the Nazi propaganda without question. I was young and impressionable, and there was not any other alternative.

This picture looks very much like my JM group, some of the girls look familiar.




BDM Camp

BDM camps were large and we went into the wilderness to learn survival skills. We were required to hike about 10 miles a day, often in rugged terrain. We had to carry a pack strapped to our backs, so we had to be in great physical condition to participate in the camping trips. These trips usually took place during the sweltering hot summer months, this combined with the rugged alpine terrain made for a strenuous two days of outdoor living.

I remember that our camp was in the Black Forest in Southern Germany. We pitched about a hundred tents in a clearing surrounded by tall evergreen trees. The ground here was somewhat sandy, barren in spots, and some smaller evergreen trees grew within the clearing. Our tents were crowded together all in long rows, there were at least four rows of round white tents, all with a center post and ropes that fanned out, staked to the sandy soil.

Yes when you put many girls out there in the wilderness you're bound to have some tempers flare, but for the most part our group leaders kept the peace and dished out good discipline when there were "issues".

There was division of labor in the camp that was recorded on a printed sheet. Every girl studied the sheet to learn what her jobs would be for the duration of camp. I was assigned to cook on one night, and to the dish washing detail the following night.

It was easy to cook. About 12 girls in a line peeling potatoes, and passing them down to other girls who cut them up and put them into the stew pot. It was fun and we all talked and told jokes. It did not even seem like work when we all pitched in. It became a game to see who could peel the most potatoes.

The second night was not as fun for me. I had dish washing detail. I had to go a long ways to a sports field and get water from a pipe, fill the pails, and walk back to camp. This had to be done over and over until we had enough water to wash the dishes. I think that carrying heavy water pails was more work than the 10 mile hike.

The next day I woke up early and stared up at the tent wall. Some birds were making loud calls up in the trees outside and that probably woke me up. I rolled up my bedding and poked my head out of the tent. It was a beautiful morning with bright sunshine. There was dew covering everything. It was cool and I breathed in the fresh, floral scent of the forest. It was very early in the morning, because I seemed to be the only one stirring. Perhaps even the camp leaders needed a little more sleep. I was still in my night clothes as I pulled on my shoes and socks. I walked down a gravel lane towards the latrine. Once inside, I could hear other girls laughing along the lane. The camp was beginning to stir, a new day upon us.


Konigsbau Passagen

I remember that I was working at Konigsbau Passagen as part of my BDM service. This is the Kings Palace that is directly across from Das Neue Schloss in Stuttgart-mitte. I was cleaning in the long colonnaded entry hall when a man came into the court with a gun, yelling that he was going to kill his wife. I dropped everything and ran to warn her. I ran as fast I could to another hall that was to the left side of the main hall. About halfway down this hall, to the right, were wide marble or granite stairs that curved upwards to the second floor of die Konigsbau. Once I reached the second floor, I turned left and ran down a long corridor, that was like a balcony that overlooked the main entry hall below.

I found the office where she was working, and ran inside to her desk, warning her about the situation.
We were able to escape out the back way before he could find her. I was so afraid, the man could have killed me, but I had to save my friend from this raging terrible man. The man was arrested by police and jailed.

This was one of those events that happen that you can never forget, because of the intensity of the fear. I could never forget the wild look of rage on his face, and the shouting that echoed up and down the hall.

This dream did help me to remember the inside of die Konigsbau. It was destroyed in the war, and never rebuilt back the way it was pre-1945. I saw the inside the way it was in all its glory and elegance.


1939 BDM Service


At this time, as part of our JM training, our group went on a day excursion to the Westwall, also called the Siegfried line. The Westwall was a line of underground concrete bunkers that Hitler had constructed between 1938 and 1940. This line, located in the western part of Germany, ran from the northern part of the country all the way down to the border of Switzerland. In my dream I am there with other girls, and we are with our group leader. One of the soldiers showed us around the area. There were at least three lines of bunkers that were terraced into the hillside, and the bunkers were partially underground, with the western facing side exposed, We were told that this fortification made Germany invincible to attack, and we were made to believe that we were completely secure from any enemy that might want to invade our land. The bunkers were all new when I was there, in perfect condition, just built. My group walked along row after row of bunker installations, as our soldier tour guide showed us around the site.

Why did I go to Westwall with JM? I am thinking it was probably part of the propaganda campaign of the Nazis, to show the population the fortifications, and give everyone a sense of pride and trust in the military prowess. Of course the Nazis wanted that. And part of the requirements of JM was to go on field trips, to learm about our great country. So I was there, at Westwall, before it was blown to bits in 1945, before thousands of soldiers died attacking and defending it.

I remember that when I was in the JM, my group also went on some two day excursions to die Alpen (the Alps), a mountainous and forested region in the far southern regions of Germany. We were fortunate in that our leader made advanced reservations of us in a nice youth hostel. It was a lovely place nestled in the forest uplands, the hostel was constructed in the alpine style, with high dormers on a high pitched roof. I remember that there were bathrooms up on a second story, along a balcony. Up there on this balcony there were many doors, bathroom doors. I went to the bathroom before we started off on a march, and when I came out of the bathroom, I saw a boy down below, and he was staring up at me. This made me feel odd, to have this boy staring up at me just as I got out of the bathroom! I had to go down the steps to the center of the courtyard, where there was a wash basin. I washed my hands. I turned around and the boy was still there, staring at me. I think that I could have taken the wash bucket and dumped it over his head, the thought occurred to me, but I restrained myself.

When I was older and a member of BDM, we participated in more rigorous excursions to the wilderness, and we stayed in tents. I usually did the cooking for our group, as every girl had to do her part. We spent our evenings around a campfire, singing national songs in praise of our Fatherland.

We also did our part to help our soldiers on the front. We often went door to door, asking of contributions. We sent blankets, coats, and care packages to the front. This was probably one of the most important roles that we had in contribution to the war effort. I also volunteered my time in a Stuttgart factory.

Joseph Goebbels

1939?

I am with my BDM troop at a large indoor public hall in Frankfurt. There are BDM girls here from all over Germany. We are all dressed immaculately in our uniforms


The public hall in Frankfurt is immense in size


The hall is now over capacity, everyone anxiously awaiting the ceremonies and dignitaries.
This is a great occasion: Hitler's birthday. The main speaker of the day will be Joseph Goebbels, Nazi party minister of propaganda.

We wait impatiently for the program to commence. Goebbels walks out from a side door at the front of the hall. All the girls stand and cheer enthusiastically, then when he reaches the podium we all give the Nazi salute, right arms straight forward, eye level, palms facing downward. The proper Nazi salute.

He begins his speech with a calm, very controlled demeanor. He is a slow articulate speaker, not as energetic as our fuhrer. He tells us that we are the strength and future of a new Germany. We will prevail over all hardships and travesty, we are pure, our path is forged, the future is ours. We represent Germany's finest, we stand at the threshold of a new era.

I look into his face. I see a man whom seems a bit worn from the strain of office, his eyes appear serious, almost morbid. His gaze is like cold hard steel. Is he looking at me?

I can't decide if I should trust this man or not.

Is this message true? Are we the chosen ones, meant to bear fruit, the rightful heir of the nation? We are the pure representatives of a redefined Germany?

This is what he tells us. We listen like little lambs.

1940
Nazi Radio

I was in the living room of my Grandparents house in Stuttgart-Ost, sitting in Grandfather's favorite chair. I think that it was still early in the war, perhaps 1940. Grandfather was probably at work in the store.

Sitting on a side table (a lamp stand type table, with a small reading lamp, and drawers built in ) was a radio. I have found a link to a picture of this radio. My Grandfather's radio ( we called it Grandfather's radio because he bought it, and he always sat in his easy chair listening to it. ) The radio was a more expensive model than the standard Volksempfaenger VE 301. It was a blaupunkt, a more expensive brand. Click on the link to see this radiohttp://www.radiomuseum.org/images/ra...000_623198.jpg
This radio looks most like the one that I saw in my dream. It had that long rectangular dial, and the speaker was like that.

Anyway, I sat there in Grandfather's chair, and I turned on the radio. I knew that I was not supposed to do that, but I was alone and no one would know. There was some program on the Stuttgart station, some music, I listened for awhile, then I decided to turn the dial. I turned the dial to the left, and I heard this high pitched pulses, it was so loud that I turned the radio set down. Then I turned the dial to the right, past the Radio Stuttgart broadcast, and once again I heard that high pitched pulsing noise. I did not know what it was, I listened to the awful noise for awhile out of curiosity. It almost seemed that I could hear a man speaking amongst all the noise, but I could not understand the words. It made me furious that I could not listen to this broadcast.

I did not know that my own government was blocking the radio transmissions. I am sure that I learned later, perhaps after the war, that the Nazis were "jamming" radio broadcasts from the allied powers. Yes, this was war, propaganda, and the Nazis did not want the general population listening to the BBC. Control the airwaves, the mind, manipulaton and fear, that was, after all, the Nazi way.


BDM Events

There were hundreds of girls from Wurttemberg in the huge theater, probably Staatstheater Stuttgart. It was a BDM annual event where regional chapters of the BDM gathered. Hundreds of girls were in the theater, all dressed in immaculate uniforms with the required neckerchief properly tied, a triangle insignia on our blouse sleeve, designating our region.

Put hundreds of girls together and of course you have a loud auditorium, lots of chatter as we awaited the appearance of our National leader,Dr. Jutta Rudiger. This was an exciting time, to be able to see her in person, the one we so admired from a distance, was here! Our enthusiasm could not be contained, and this caused us to chatter even more.

The program began with some news reels that showed the progress of our troops. We saw columns of tanks and troops marching through Paris, and we really thought that the Parisians were welcoming us! The news reels always painted this impression of our war progress.

After the news reels were over, we waited impatiently for Dr. Jutta Rudiger to appear. I was talking to one of my friends, she was sitting in the seat directly in front of me. I don't know if I said something that offended her, but she suddenly got up and walked up the aisle, and started talking to some other girls. I became intensely furious with my friend for this, I remember sitting there and feeling the anger rising as I watched her talking with the girls from the other troop. I mean, she was supposed to be my best friend, why was she now shunning me? I'm feeling hurt that she has ditched me. Well, so much for our friendship which I thought was special. I turned and started talking with some other girls, no longer caring what my "best" friend was doing.

In about a week, we were best friends once again!

1940

One winter day in 1940, I was waiting in the lobby of the apartment building with my mother and sister, waiting for the city trolley bus. There were about ten other people in the lobby with us, all waiting for the trolley car to arrive, and watching out the large windows that faced toward the street.

A big, heavy set man was sitting on the bench outside the front of the building.

The trolley drove up and the door swung open. Several people disembarked. The driver stepped off the streetcar. He was dressed in a dark blue uniform, and had on a captains hat with a white brim. He was a tall, slender man, about middle aged.

Suddenly there was a confrontation between the driver and a short woman in a long skirt. They exchanged angry words. Now the man who was sitting on the bench became involved. He yelled at the driver, clenching his fists. There was a scuffle and punches were thrown.

I was getting upset and I yelled to a woman in a long gray coat to call the police. There was a black, old fashion dial phone just behind her in a small enclave in the wall. She picked up the phone and called the police station, but by now some other men in the crowd had stopped the fight. The police were to late to do much, and my dream ended with me trembling and scared, hoping that the policemen would arrive soon to restore order.

As I reflect on this dream, I wonder if the man and woman were angry because they were being denied bus service because they were Jewish. This may have been the case. Of course at the time, I was too young to understand what was happening.


Signs of War

The first signs of war that made an impression on me happened on a trip with the BDM to the northern Alps in the late summer of 1940. We were down near the border between Germany and Switzerland/Austria. We walked down a steep trail into a deep gorge. High tan colored cliffs towered above us as we reached the bottom of the gorge. As I looked up towards the rim of the craggy cliffs, I saw a something that made my jaw drop. I shouted "look up there!". All of the BDM girls looked in the direction where I was pointing.

There up in a tall, sturdy tree, at the very top, was an airplane! It was a yellow WWII style single engine fighter plane - stuck there in the upper branches of the tree! I marveled at this then and now - wondering how a plane got there. Did the pilot have engine trouble during training, and somehow manage to level off his plane before hitting the branches of the tree? The pilot probably survived, because the plane was completely intact! What had happened to the pilot? Was he rescued? How long had that plane been up there? It was a miracle that the plane did not blow up or fall apart when it hit the tree. Yet there it was, suspended in the branches, in one piece, in perfect condition! This was certainly not the normal place one would expect to see an airplane. It was a WW II plane, it looked something like this if my memory serves me correct:


This was the last time that we would go on a BDM field trip. There was no more financing available for these kind of activities from the state. All available resources were now being channeled into the war effort.